I hope you like "how many _____ does it take to screw in a light bulb" jokes!

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they wait for it to burn out then they follow it around for years.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, they're efficient and not very funny.

How many San Francisco 49er fans does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it and just talk about how great the last one was.

How many drunks does it take to screw in a light bulb? 12 -- 1 to hold the light bulb in the socket and 11 to drink until the room spins.

How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only 1 -- he holds the light bulb and waits for the world revolves around him.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they let it burn out and then redefine darkness as the new standard.

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.

How many immigrants does it take to screw in a light... nevermind they're already done.

How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb? You don't know! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't care but I would like to know how they got in there.

How many short people does it take to screw in a light bulb. Just one with a ladder. They're short, not stupid.

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to fill the bathtub with mayonnaise and silverware, the other one to paint the giraffe yellow with purple stripes.

How many Apple engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Your house is obsolete, you have to move.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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