2014: The Olympics Nobody Cares About

You may have heard there's Olympics coming up, but you have no idea where. The Sochi 2014 must be the LEAST-anticipated Olympic event in decades.

For starters, experts have been saying for YEARS they're not going to be ready. Everyone seems to think they will be, but all the photos I've seen make me think there's no way.

Then there's the fact that this is not a Winter sports location. Everyone's heard it's a beach town. The ski resorts are up in the mountains, and I've heard they're HOURS and HOURS away! You can't even call them Sochi. Will there be enough snow? Apparently they plan to truck it in if necessary -- and that worked in Vancouver, B.C.

Many of the people usually responsible for getting us excited about the Olympics (the government-sponsored Olympic committees and the giant corporations) are upset about Russia's anti-gay politics. I bet they can't wait for Sochi to end and they can start promoting Rio.

And who wants to go to Russia right now? It's like going to Afghanistan... they just don't like us that much. Taking a vacation in Pakistan or Iran doesn't sound like fun and Russia is up there in the top 5 on the list of places that don't like us that much. Why go?

There's also a lack of stars. Lindsay Vonn is basically done, Apolo Ohno is done. There are no beloved figure skaters right now.