I watched my infant son for three hours yesterday and he cried the ENTIRE TIME! No exaggeration. The second my wife walks in the door he's happy. What kind of bull feathers is that?

So listen, I've got an idea. I'm going to contact one of those Hollywood creature shops and have them make me a mask of my wife's face -- Mission Impossible style.

I'll record her with my phone saying stuff like, "There, there, it's OK, don't cry, mommy's here" etc.

Then when he freaks out I'll just put on my mask and play my phone!

Admit it, it's brilliant even if it doesn't work out.

Maybe we can hang on to the mask for Kindergarten and pass it on to her teacher with some recorded scoldings!