Dating can be a huge nightmare! It has been a while for me since I have been single but I still remember what it was like. Once, on a first date the girl I was with got a call that her  grandmother had died in the middle of dinner. I took her home and we tried another date later but it never worked out. However, that is nothing compared to these stories! 

--Met her dad, meant to say pleasure to meet you. I said I am pleasure.

--I leaned in for the kiss. Our lips connected. I burst out laughing and snorted.
Safe to say that was the end of that.

--Went back to her apartment… in the middle of the night I Came back and fell asleep with her pushing her butt up against me. Turns out I was in her roommate's room for over an hour, spooning her. She thought her boyfriend came back from work. Woke up to a pissed off guy and the girl from the date waking us up. Felt totally embarrassed and felt bad for the girl. We all came to an understanding that it was a mistake. I got sent home though, lol. Ran into the girl from the date a little later and it was awkward but funny.

--I was a month fresh out of a four year relationship and a cute girl I worked with asked me out on a date. But I got too drunk and just kept talking about my ex the whole time.

--16 year old me was not good with women. She had her hand on my thigh, and started rubbing it. I sat there with my arms crossed as we sat in her car listening to music. I didn't make a move, except for when I got out of the car. I went in for a kiss and she said "I didn't get anything when I went for it, and you're not either"

--I got a little nervous, and I kind of sort of told him over coffee about the time my mum killed a dude.

--Took her to a nice romantic movie, The Road. My friends still make fun of me for that.

--I had a few too many and as we were walking back to the car after dinner holding hands somehow I ended up sweeping her legs out from under her as she was walking and she went down! I have no idea how it happened maybe my leg was too close to hers or something and I walked into hers, but it was a perfect leg sweep.

--I took a Catholic girl to see The Wolf of Wall Street. She wasn't impressed and was downright disgusted with me. She walked out half way through the movie and never called me again.

--I went on a Tinder date earlier this week, actually. Walked into the bar, caught the guy's eye, sat down next to him and started chatting. It was going really well and I felt great. A full fifteen minutes later, another dude comes over and goes, "Uh, are you khaleesifromdc?" I turned to the guy I was sitting with and went, "Wait, you're not my Tinder date, are you?"
He was not my Tinder date. The worst part was that we got on much better than the guy I was actually there to meet and I will never see him again.

--When the waitress comes over I realized that I hadn't really even looked at the menu so I just picked something. Whatever, the menu was entirely in Spanish anyway so I probably wouldn't have known what it was. When the food came it was a whole fish. Bones, head, eyeballs, scales, the entire thing. And I ate it. It was really good, but that is probably the least attractive thing you can eat in front of someone. No second date.

--Went for the good ol' boob grab.
I should absolutely not have gone for the good ol' boob grab.

--I asked her what her parents thought of her going to school so far from home. She said they didn't really care. I asked "Why not? Do they just... not give a shit?" And she reminded me that both her parents were dead. She had told me before but I had forgotten.

--So I'm at a party with a beer in each hand and my buddy decides to introduce me to a pretty young lady. Drunk me accidentally spills a beer all over her crotch. Thinking quickly I immediately spilled my remaining beer on my own crotch and said "Now we're even." I figured if she laughed, I had a chance. She didn't laugh

--Sliced my finger to the bone with a glass ashtray (was banging it on the table to the beat of the music and it shattered in my hand). There was an impressive amount of blood. At least I got a ride to the ER from her.

--Assumed he was gay and therefore hadn't grasped that this was a date.

--I was supposed to be wing man for my friend.
I slept with the girl he was trying to date.

--Accidentally dyed my hair BRIGHT PINK an hour before the date. And not in a cool way. Terrible.