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Where NOT to Go on Spring Break

Getty Images, NASA

I’ve had some great vacations, but some just sucked. If you’re planning for spring break, leave THESE places off your list.

1. Alaska

My mom is from Alaska. I had always heard great stories, but it sucked. First, let’s talk about the mosquitoes. They’re THREE TIMES the size of the biggest mosquitoes I’ve ever seen. They’re like birds! I had to sleep in the car with the windows rolled down and I was eaten alive. Plus you can never sleep because it never gets dark. There’s nothing to do but walk around the woods, but not all woods are “woods.” Some are just scrubby areas with bears around every corner. Plus it takes three days to drive anywhere.

2. Phoenix

I endured 120-degree temperatures for a WEEK! When you open your oven and you go, “Ouch, my face is burning!” That’s what it’s like. I was stuck inside for a week. I couldn’t enjoy the pools, I couldn’t chase girls. It wasn’t safe to be outside.¬†Another thing is old people are allowed to drive on the streets in golf courses and they slow everyone down. There are neighborhoods in Phoenix where you have to be 65+ just to live there.

3. Tri-Cities

My friend came to visit and No. 1 on his list was visiting Hanford. We drove out there, and it was kind of disappointing, and we turned back before we even got to the gate. A cop saying, “You can’t be here” would really have put a damper on our vacation. But seriously, staying home during a vacation sucks. For me, it’s really about relaxation. Being busy on a vacation — either during your day off or in Hawaii — sucks.

New York was fun, Bahamas is the bomb, I went to Hawaii with my wife’s family. But the coolest vacation is the one we’re giving away:

All expenses trip to Cabo San Lucas! Listen four times a day for four weeks for your chance to win! We’ll throw a party in late April to announce the winner.

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